Failure is harder than success
I can attest to that phrase. Failure comes in all aspects of our lives. Depression was one of my personal failures, the dragon that I constantly fought with and lost to most times. My mental state was always putting me down. I stopped listening to my inner thoughts and the more I ignored them or went against them, they seemed to disapear on me. Other things that were important for my mental health disappeared as well. Slowly belief in myself was deteriorating , until it no longer existed, my bright smile and humorous out look on life was gone, my spirit withered away,what light I had was getting darker and my thoughts were getting scarier. This didn’t happen overnight it took years and it got out of control to the point I was scared for my self. Pleasure for life disappeared, I was so lost and feeling all alone. I wanted to change because I knew I could no longer live my life this way. I was looking for something, I just had no clue what I needed to get well and to go about it. Well the universe it seems was listening to me because I’m happy to say that I found the MKE, a master class on teaching us what we learned growing up was ass backwords. They slowly implemented in us a postive mental attitude, by giving us the tools to use, so we could pratice daily to reinforce in ourselves a postive mental attitude. I learned to ask for what I want not what I don’t want. Feeling without thought is an action that won’t last long. With daily practice of the skills givin to me, I’ve become more aware of the good in life not only in me but in others as well. It’s not like miracles or kindness don’t happen on a dailey basis, I’ve just become more aware of seeing and recognizing it in me. That in turn has helped me see it in others more freely. Now I look for it. I’m happy to say that for the first time since I can remember I didn’t get depressed, I been going through changes which I felt confused and unsure of my self and I’ve fumbled on some days, but now I’m more equipped to handle these mishaps and not dwell on stuff that doesn’t serve me well. I’m a work in progress and knowing that I now have the tools I can achieve anything I want. It’s easier mentally knowing I have the tools to achieve whatever I want and practicing daily a positive mental attitude and living my life on my terms. Fighting the demons is definitely harder. Fighting the anger, and the many negative thoughts about myself and low self worth is an uphill battle, like rowing a boat upstream with a paddle that got me no where. Well not anymore. I’m going downstream with a paddle that now works. I’m liking the light I’m finding in me. It’s great to be out of the darkness. If I should fumble or get a little down, I know now that it’s better to leave that day behind and not waste a moments thought on it and make the next day better than yesterday. I’m nature’s greatest miracle and it’s about time I revel in it. I Norina Lelii promise to continue on this path! My true path. There is no going back to my old life. I’m smiling, my stress is disappearing and more laughter has entered my life. Learning how to forgive myself has lifted the burden of quilt I was allowing to eat at me emotionally. Forgiveness of others is helping me forget the past hurts. I have so much unlimited potential.
Thanks for stopping by and as always have a great day! Norina
Molly and Mia you are Whole perfect strong powerful loving harmonious and happy.